Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Bloodshed

I would say that I am one who wears my heart on my sleeve.
I do not necessarily say how I feel or what is going on in the little head of mine but you can definitely read it all over my face and through my body language.

Many times in my life when I am upset or confused, I would blurt it all out in a blog entry but yet never publish them.
These entries of which are full of raw emotions and thoughts are scribbled in such a chaotic manner that I could never publish them to the public.

How could one grasp my feelings when I am unable to do so myself?


To be honest, I rather not publicly share personal feelings as it makes me feel vulnerable. Furthermore, I do not wish to be judged.

However I continue to jot down how I feel, simply because it is therapeutic.
I analyze the words I chose, the feelings I feel and am able to figure out the problem and suss things out. I never publish them but delete them later on.


Today... I feel a little lost.


I do not know what I aim to achieve with this entry.
I am not reaching out for help yet sometimes I wish to be saved.

I know why I feel the way I do.
I know the reason for these feelings I feel.
I understand these things must happen because it's for the best.
I am aware of the things I could and ought to do.

But there is no real solution.
There is no real guarantee of anything.


This is fear.
This is life.


It will be quite a battle.
I guess there is nothing left to do but to be optimistic and face another day with a brave face.
I won't let fear drag me down.

Wish me luck :)

4 comments:

Joshua said...

Jia you!

LishyWishy ♥ said...

Thank you very much! *sniffles* :)

Mingming said...

It's only human to have a vulnerable side. It's only human to have fears. I personally write a lot of my feelings down too, it does calm one down although not necessarily solving the problem.but just know that you are still a very strong person even if you have worries...in a way..it's these feelings that drives us..shaping our lives depending on what decisions we make.

Have faith in urself cuzzie....You can do it!!:)

LishyWishy ♥ said...

Thank you very much for your encouraging words cuz! :)

We all have our moments of weakness. So I'm very happy to hear kind words from family and friends.

Yes, I believe that I can too!! :D

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