Friday, May 29, 2009

Second Interview

I just went for another interview. It's for a research position in the Craniofacial department of a hospital in Adelaide.

There was a panel of 4 people and they each asked me a series of questions. The interview itself wasn't too bad. I could have worded a lot of things better but I was quite nervous so I keep thinking of better answers that I could have said. Nonetheless, what's done is done and what I've gone through today will help me improve for the next interview.

However, they asked me whether I will do animal work as taking this position will require handling mice as well as killing them. I was hoping that there wouldn't be any! Instead of answering immediately, I asked them how they killed their mice and how many do they go through. Basically, the mice can be kept in a carbon dioxide chamber then killed by breaking their necks.

I was practically screaming inside my head.

They said that I'll probably kill 1-2 per month but I should be aware that there will be times when I have to kill 10 or even more.

Okay, well, that doesn't sound too bad. Right?

I said that I wouldn't mind as sometimes it's necessary to sacrifice the lives of mice or animals in order to help save lives. Sometimes animal models are required to examine the effects of a drug before it can be tested on humans.

I think I'm trying to convince myself as well.

I don't know what to think. Part of me didn't want to kill the poor mice in the name of science, while the other half thinks that it's inevitable to avoid all this especially in this field. One way or the other, I will have to use substances/chemicals/proteins extracted from animals to do my research.


I question my beliefs.

If I was given the job, would I really take it? Can I really harm these animals?
Jobs are scarce. I really need a job.



To top it all, last night I dreamt that I was attacked by this creature, which looked like a goat with a duck's head and neck. It kept lunging towards me with its head. I so did not want the beak to touch me at all.

To stop it, I had to kill it. I had a small ice-pick in my hand so I used to it to strike its neck, hoping to kill it in one fell swoop.

Instead, I ripped out part of its neck. I was horrified to see that it was still alive and struggling to attack me. I stabbed its neck repeatedly with the ice-pick but it refused to die!!
It was obviously in great pain and was suffering as I kept trying to end its life.

I felt so guilty that I was shaking.

I woke up and found myself lying in bed, shaking and sweaty from the vivid dream.

Then I had to go for the interview where I faced the reality of getting a job where I am required to scarifice mice for the sake of research.





Well.. I'll find out soon whether I'll get the job or not. Perhaps I won't get it as they're worried about my visa.

When will my permanent residency visa application get approved?!

I'm definitely calling the Department of Immigration on Monday morning to find out!

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