Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Butterflies



In less than a month, I will have written a thesis.

A thesis that will be read and graded by individuals who expertise in the field of bone cancer.
I will be required to present my work in a seminar in front of an audience consisting of academic staff, my examiners, professors and students.

My work will be bound into a book and copies stored away into the library of my university.
Whether it'll be worth a First-Class or not.. by one way or another it will happen.

I cannot express the amount of pressure, anxiety and stress that has plagued me for the past month and continues to do so.
I lack quality sleep due to the constant nightmares and vivid dreams.

Time just slips by my fingers, making it feel like it will be an eternity before my thesis writing is complete.


I complain and lament about the amount of work. But mostly because I lack a lot of things.
The lack of sleep. The lack of determination. The lack of confidence in myself. The lack of the social life that I love and dearly miss.

And when I think to myself, everyone lacks something. Each and everyone of us use it as an excuse.

Sure, I don't interact with people as much as I used to.
So now, I am unhappy and can't write as well.
Boo Hoo.
But does it make a difference if I do? Or is it just as an excuse because I am afraid of reality?

I am aware that certain things that greatly affects the outcome, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem. Just like the "butterfly effect".
But surely, there must be ways to overcome the battle you're facing?
Perhaps it's not as bad as you think it is.
It's all about perception.


So I've got to think positively and know that I will get through this.
Because I AM capable of doing so.

Wish me luck!

2 comments:

Donna Bong said...

Good Luck LISHA!!! You're like crazily smart, I'm sure you'll do great.

shinichi said...

GOOD LUCK!
GANBATTE!!!

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