Wednesday, November 12, 2008

It is done.

It's all over.

Surprisingly the seminar I had to give yesterday went well :)
I am extremely relieved. (Despite not being able to answer some questions correctly and getting flustered for a bit)

Locky and I had a practice run on Monday in front of the other lab members and our supervisors.
Unfortunately, I didn't do really well that day, particularly with the questions so you can't blame me for being extremely anxious the whole day and not being able to sleep well. It was haunting me! In addition, Dr. John Hayball (our Honours course coordinator) insisted that we arrived by 8.15am to load our talks into the computer so I had a mere three hours of restless sleep before the presentation.

It was great to see everyone again, although we were all feeling a bit sick and anxious.
Well, at least I was. I tried to eat a banana, which I usually devour (Love banananaaas! Happy fruit/herb) but I had no appetite. It tasted terrible but I had to eat something or my brain will be deprived of sugaaaaar.

Fortunately I was the first to present at 9am :)
The academic staff turnup was quite poor. There were several students coming and out, families as naturally, lab members for support as well as examiners who were there to question us and grade our presentation. I think at least 30 people attended my seminar.

While I was presenting, Andrew (my supervisor) kept nodding encouragingly at me which was great but sometimes distracted me a wee bit. Hehe.
Surprisingly, 20 minutes went by really quickly.

Fortunately for me, my examiners (this chick with a British accent and a chinese man) were really nice to me. They didn't probe me or ask any tricky questions. Other audience members asked uncomplicated questions as well. So yay for me!

Some examiners were a little mean as they persistantly asked difficult questions. Most of us managed to answer questions well, so it was all good. It wasn't like our examiners were out to get us or anything. But it's often hard to think that way, especially when you're put on the spot light. For me, it was a horrid 10 minutes of vulnerability.

In all, everyone's talk went well. One of my examiners sought Hayball to ask for my contact details. Turns out, he's interested in taking me in as a PhD student.
This to me, was a surprise. Flattering but unexpected.

Hayball thinks I should consider it. Long said I should go for it.
And my supervisor Andrew said I shouldn't.
We both know how difficult Honours was for me. I struggled.
To be honest, I don't think I've got what it takes to do the same thing for three/four years.

Andrew advised me to take a year off and if I wanted to do a PhD, he would be more than happy to take me under his wing. He's awesooome, isn't he?
I'm truly thankful for the wonderful people I've worked with. The people in the lab were a bunch of supportive, intelligent and genuinely lovely people.
After our seminars, they took us to the pub to toast us. And we're going to have a lunch gathering on Thursday as well to celebrate.

I can't believe a year just went by. The past several months were just emotionally draining.
There were days when I felt like I couldn't go on. I cried endlessly. I panicked every couple hours. Conjuring sentences took me ages, making me feel it was almost impossible to complete my writing. It was not a pretty sight.

But I've done it.
It's all over.

It's time to move on to the next phase of my life!

PS: I may be getting a bunneh!! Hehee!! :D

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